a mental shipwreck of emotions

I am not on here very much, dealing with life as we all do on a day to day basis.
We all have our trials and tribulations. Some we can deal with, some we look to God for the answers as to WHY?
I hate being put through either one. but I guess its to see how strong we all are or have to be. I get tired of being the strong one of the family.
I am going through a bit of a delmia. some may not see it as that way or what ever. But when it happens to you and it will which way will YOU turn in that time of need?
this guy I thought was my boy friend has decided to move back to maryland to be with his son because he claims his son is at that age of needing his father. the boy will be 13 this yr. It has been 10 yrs since he has really been around his son. I aske him why NOW?! of all time why now? he said as one of his many excuses that he wants to be able to interact with him, when many,many,many times he had told me and others he and his son have nothing in common. Well this man who had got me to move in with him and fall for his insinuations, put off getting a job for me and stay on unemployment. I did do all that because I was "following" with "blinders" on. I put off helping my family to follow this "player". I haven't been done like this since my marraige and then divorced.

Thias man has been raised by a man that adopted him when he was just a new born and then when things got bad in his dad's and mom's marriage he left with his dad only to be stuck in a privet school or left alone to take care of himself while his dad went off to be with who ever. make a long story short this man i have allowed my self to fall in love with (my own stupidity) has decided that we were never a couple, ..........just friends.
Well what brought all this on ? he was found to have an aneurysim. now he claims after all this time he needs to go "play" father with his son. I can understand him wanting to be the boys father but just because of what the doctors found its a sing to him time to be a father??????
Pretty weak and sorry if you ask me. Now if this ends up being something bad then fine. If not then that fine to.
But because a person has been raised to con and and scam people for all that they can be gotten for, this man is too afraid to allow himself to feel . he don't and won't cry in front of anyone, he don't allow himself to feel the love of another person or what they feel. he just keeps it hidden and stays "cold" and "distant"

I have been basically the ONLY one there for him when he has had to deal with kidney stones to the point of needing them surgicaly removed, i have been the one there when he has been so sick he could not make to the bathroom and i had to help, I have been there between fights and disputes between his father and exwife. Or is she an ex, he hasn't truthfuly answered me on that just said"even though I MIGHT be divorced" YEAH!!!!!!!!! MIGHT
either way i have reach my point that I JUST DON'T CARE anymore. I am numb< I am emotionally and mentaly bruised, I feel like I have been used for all he could get from and of me and wadded up and tossed out with the trash.
I don't care what anyone says to me to try and ease the pain and the hurt I'm the one thats going through this all over for the 3rd or 4th time.
I'm walking away from it all. He don't need or want me . he wants to sleep with his dogs then let him LIE with and to the dogs